I’ve gone to therapy at two points in my life, and in both, the therapist talked about mindfulness, and breathing, and listening to and feeling myself breathe. What neither of them managed to do was explain why it was important, or what I was trying to accomplish by breathing. I was just breathing. I knew how to do that already.
What I didn’t know how to do was to pay attention, and be aware of the things stimulating me. This can be stimuli like birds chirping, or a plane flying overhead stimulating your ears and eyes, or cookies baking stimulating your sense of smell – but also the stimulus that your body provides in terms of your physical feelings and emotions. This is important information that can and should inform our decision making. Because I didn’t know how to pay attention to what or how I was feeling, I taught myself to respond automatically to certain stimuli. This automatic response led to me eating terribly and drinking way more alcohol than is healthy. When I was even a little bit hungry, I’d bust out the DoorDash app and order myself a giant greasy cheeseburger with large fries and a coke. And I did this frequently. I had no tool to interrupt the automatic process I’d taught myself.
I’d think about having a drink as soon as my work day was over, and I had no way to tell myself “dude, maybe skip today,” or “You can wait until the kids are in bed.” I wasn’t thinking, I was just responding to a stimuli. And badly, at that.
That’s where mindfulness (paying attention) comes in. By paying attention, we can learn to first NOTICE the stimuli. We can’t respond in a positive way if we don’t realize we’re being stimulated. So, step 1 is paying attention. Step 2 is noticing the stimuli.
Step 2 is why mindfulness is such a powerful idea. It teaches us to slow down and pay attention just enough to notice when we’re feeling something, and to be able to classify that feeling. I’m feeling hungry, or angry, or scared. Once you know that you are feeling something and what that thing is, you have a great deal more power over how you respond.
SplooshDaPool has been an incredible tool for helping me become more mindful because it encourages me to pay attention to what my body is doing and feeling while I’m in the pool. It encourages me to focus and pay attention because everything in SDP is easier when I do, and I get better results. Because I’m focused and paying attention to what I’m trying to do, it’s become really apparent when I have intrusive thoughts. They interrupt my workout, and that’s annoying. SplooshDaPool gives me time to practice paying attention, noticing stimuli, and responding in a positive way.
The surprising thing for me is that this practice has carried over to my life outside of the pool. I’m much more in touch with what I’m feeling both physically and emotionally. This has made it easier in all aspects of my life to pay attention, notice stimuli, and respond to it in a way that’s better aligned with my goals. Far fewer automatic responses.
This is what therapists are trying to get at with the breathing stuff. By concentrating on your breathing, you can learn to notice and identify stimuli because it interrupts your concentration. I suppose maybe you could focus deeply on anything and get the same result.
What are some ways that you respond automatically that maybe aren’t aligned with your goals?
Be well!
